Every Soul Can be Bella

Outside a great long structure at night (ostensibly where I just was) still thinking that I really need to record my lucid dream, I spot a tall tree close to me that reminds me of the tulip tree I loved on the mountain; the one which seemed to have a crude man’s face carved into the trunk. Moving over to it, I lightly kiss the trunk. “I miss you…” I say, but then add, “No, I don’t!” Because it’s true, and because that “face” in the bark manifested as a deceiving spirit in an early lucid dream, and I’ve left behind that pseudo-pagan stuff.

Looking up, I catch sight of what should be the full moon, but even though it’s night time, to me it looks like the solar disc, which in waking life I love glimpsing through a fine veil of clouds. Turning in place while looking up at the vast heavens, I perceive more of these feathery clusters of white clouds all above and around me, and giving voice to my feelings, exclaim, “This is magnificent!” I think: I have to stay in this dream and stop worrying about recording my first lucid dream as I realize that I am, in fact, still dreaming.

Turning away from the tree (the long structure I emerged from stretching out alongside me a few yards to my left) I catch sight of a white office chair flying out a high window not too far away from me. As I watch it soaring through the air, I think: Well, don’t you come and hit me. It seems it might have been launched on a deliberate trajectory. It’s a very nice, affluent looking office chair, with coppery arms and legs, and a pristine white leather back and seat. And as it turns in the air toward me, it seamlessly transforms into a much larger and cushier white seat that looks more like the exposed cockpit of a spaceship. I wonder: Could that be my ride?!

Walking toward it as it moves closer to me, I now see a figure sitting on the right side (my left) of the white couch the size of a Love Seat. It’s wearing what looks like a pure white spacesuit with a spherical white helmet I can’t see through, yet there’s no ship, just this cushioned seat big enough for two at the top of a throne-like platform. I’m a little frightened, yet as we draw closer and closer to each other, I declare, “I think I’m in love with you!” This is after I glimpsed the bottom edge of his face when he revealed it to me, and I realized it was a skull.

As the cockpit-throne comes to a stop, it seems death has come for me, yet what I truly feel emanating from this figure is what strikes me as a playfully teasing love, which intensifies as I dare to climb up onto the “throne” with this space-suited skeleton. The fact I possess the courage to do this in response to the almost shy tenderness of his love confirms what I felt earlier as we drew nearer to each other, that he might be God. And as I kneel on a step at his feet, looking up at his moon-white helmet, I understand the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast for in these moments I live it, facing death while feeling, knowing, it is only an illusion, a transition like a spell being broken to reveal the beautiful Prince who loves me as I love Him. Every soul can be Bella!

I really can’t describe how incredible, amazing and wonderful it is that I was able to position myself on this grand mausoleum-like dais (formed of a pristine white substantial light) with this Being. Although my body in the dream is that of a grown woman, in relation to Him, I am no larger than a five-year-old child.

Dream Notes:

That enthroned figure was not wearing an outer space suit but an inner space costume! He was a blend of a futuristic astronaut, a skeleton in a space suit, and a large mysteriously living statue in a graveyard, yet none of these things. He was a Being and we loved each other. Those moments when I felt his almost shy teasing were so unexpected and amazing. He was everything I might be afraid of (a fallen angel/alien from outer space and the Grim Reaper) yet I trusted him, felt his love and loved him in return. And his playfulness, which for a few seconds bordered on shyness, made me feel so loved! There was humor there, but it was all for my sake, a game with very real stakes, for frightening me was part of enlightening me and challenging me, urging me to the supreme act of faith and trust as, instead of running from death (the proverbial Grim Reaper) I climbed up onto the throne and made myself comfortable at his feet.

I also feel now, thinking about this dream, that my Lord enjoyed this playful scene and that my soul was immensely honored by its casualness, for of course He knew I would pass the test! In the dream I thought he might be God, and I know He was, yet he might also have been my Angel performing/delivering a message from God to my soul, a lighthearted message of love, and how I behaved was my wholehearted response. Because that’s what the word Angelus (Angel) means “messenger”.