Maybe I’m Not Ready

I asked to feel unconditional love, but... 

Day of the dream: Oct. 31, 2019. Halloween!

I am somewhere on vacation near the beach. I hear my brother's voice calling my sister to go to an indoor swimming pool nearby. I follow his voice and then I see the pool has a very strange shape. People are sitting all around it and I cannot get through to swim, so I give up and leave. I go looking for my siblings and suddenly I feel lost. I think, “How did I get here? Maybe this is a dream.” I pinch my nose and realize I am dreaming.

At that moment I see I am somewhere near a body of water and I just throw myself forward/downward. I am now descending; it is dark all around except for a long strip of neon pink light near me guiding my descent. I want to reach the bottom so bad. I see people. 

Finally, I am down next to something that looks like a hotel counter and see two women who I decide to ignore - they seem not to notice my presence either.

I say, “Dream, I want to feel unconditional love.” I close my eyes. I feel I am traveling at a great speed. I open my eyes, and all seems to stop. I feel a little disappointed, it was not a nice sensation. I look at my hands for some reason, and suddenly I feel again I am traveling at an even greater speed. I feel I am getting ripped apart! I hear ringing in my ears. I scream. Finally, I yell stop, stop! I am thinking this was not a pleasant experience at all.

Almost with tears in my eyes I say, “But I wanted to feel something beautiful. Maybe I'm not ready for this experience yet.” I decide to wake up.