It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining bright on the Colorado foothills. I am intrigued with how the plants and flowers bend with the slight breeze. Everything seems so alive! I am walking down a well-trodden path when I look up and see a tunnel. It is cut through a small hill. It's inviting, and I feel myself pulled toward it.
I begin walking down the tunnel. It's dark. The walls start closing in on me. I start shrinking into myself. All of a sudden I hear a buzzing noise. It gets louder and louder. I am surrounded by a million buzzing hornets. Golden hornets. Threatening. Closing in on me. I am about to get engulfed!
I take a deep breath and call on the elements. The Sun, the Lightning, the Rain, the Wind, they all come to my aid. I light up the air around me, burning off and blowing away the bees. I have vanquished the threat. I have brought my awareness into the dream in order to take care of myself. I am safe.
But now, being awake in the dream, I am tired of having to fight to be safe. I have a history of being chased and threatened by people, things, animals, and others in the dream-state. I want to be done with it. True, I always come up with better and better ways to defend myself. But it's tiring. When will it end? I want to re-program the dream to let the bees catch up and to be totally safe. But the dream is over. I've missed that opportunity. It's time to move on. Time to wake up.
I woke up feeling empowered on the one hand, but disappointed on the other. I was totally safe, but I was continuing the fight. Happy and sad at the same time. Powerful yet simultaneously powerless.
That was dream number one. At that time in my life I was living in Boulder, Colorado. I was burnt out on living there and was looking at moving. Tunnel - change is coming, but I feel the options are limited. Bees - feeling threatened, fearful. No matter where I looked to move, I came up with limitations, reasons why this city, that town, that state didn't work. I was looking at Colorado Springs, a few hours south of where I was currently living. But there were drawbacks there as well. Even though I had a couple of sponsors for my work in that area, NO WAY was I moving there! And now for dream number two:
I am at a party in Colorado Springs. Nice people. Nice house. Fun party. I think I'll go outside and get a breath of fresh air. I walk down the front steps to the driveway and lawn area. I stop to look around. It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining bright on the Colorado foothills. I am intrigued with how the plants and flowers bend with the slight breeze. Everything seems so alive! "This seems familiar." I think to myself. "I've been here before. I've been in this dream before. What's happening?"
I look up. And, as I do, I trip over something. I am lying on my stomach, my lower half is on the lawn, my upper is on the driveway. And there, right in front of my face, is a bees’ nest. Golden hornets. Hundreds of them. And they're getting agitated. "But, wait. I've been here before. I remember! This is MY dream. I can take a deep breath and relax. And I am totally safe." The bees back off. They are all looking at me as they form a circle around my head. "Now this is what I wanted. This is where I want to be. I am totally safe in the midst of my fear."
I awaken feeling empowered, in charge of my life. I feel good about having limitless options and being able to respond to new situations, even if they are threatening. I approach the next day wondering what it will bring and if I should perhaps look into Colorado Springs a little more seriously. Maybe my fears have been standing in the way.
And now to the magic: That day, while driving, I had at separate times two different bees, golden hornets of course, fly into my shirt. And late that afternoon, another one flew up my shorts. In each instance, I took a deep breath and relaxed. "I can let that happen, and I am totally safe." And, without fail, the bees flew back out without stinging me.
To make matters more intriguing, less than two months later I found myself totally self-employed in Colorado Springs. One person was organizing workshops for me. Another was organizing private appointments. I had an offer to share someone's apartment, and I had office space as well. I surrendered and moved there almost immediately.
As a side note, I used to have a phobia about bees. At one time, I even jumped out of a moving vehicle when a bee landed on the console between the seats. True, the car was only going about two or three miles per hour. That's not necessarily so bad, except for one thing... I was the one driving.
Yup, definitely a phobia. But over time I used hypnosis, relaxation, shamanic journeying, and active dreaming to get past it. I have released that phobia, even thinking about becoming a beekeeper.
This article was released in issue from
September 2020
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